Funny quotes latest

  • Some people are too chipper early in the morning, and what they dont realize is that its very bad for their good health until I am choking them.
  • This lame status is not the only one that you'll be reading this year.so brace yourself for the long haul.
  • Hunting is so easy for a vegan because sneaking up on a plant doesnt take rocket science
  • I get my best workouts done when Im hiding from boring colleagues at my workplace.
  • There are many things that you can say about women, but it takes real talent to turn a compliment into a two hour argument
  • My boss was feeling down and so I decided to cheer him up with a joke  so I showed him my pay slip
  • Honest people can be put into two categories.little kids and drunk persons.
  • Its a good thing that Apple is not in charge of New Year because we would all be waiting for 2015 but instead get 2014S.
  • Im engaged.to become drunk and disorderly while ushering in the new year
  • After thinking about my new years resolution, I settled for 1024X768.
  • Why was the bull sweating? Because he was in a tight jersey!
  • Before ALL CAPS, how did people express their anger?
  • Like this status if you are never drinking alcohol.
  • Im not looking forward to the New Year Celebrations. what with all the drinking and merry making -my liver.
  • Being awesome for yet another year is my New Year resolution.
  • My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else get on.
  • If you catch a homeless couple having sex, is it rude to tell them to get a room?

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