New Funny WhatsApp Status
His I.Q. is so low you cant test it. You have to dig for it.
He saw me without problems,He created YOU.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
I feel lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Can I take your picture?? I love to collect pictures of natural disasters.
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.
If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesnt work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Dear iPhone, Please stop changing my rude words into nice ones.
A girl must marry for love, and keep on marrying until she finds it.
When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up, its like having a kidnapper tell you to keep in touch.
After marriage, the other mans wife looks more beautiful.
Id explain it to you but Im afraid your head might explode.
Im the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.
He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
Dont like me? Cool, I dont wake up every day to impress you.
Cry only for cuts and stitches not fot bastards and bitches.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
Take care of Your Status, dont be care taker of My Status
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Age has been the perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
The zoo is a pretty safe place to fart.
Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.
Beware of the naked man who offers you his shirt.
SARCASM: Just one of the many services i offer.
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, youre ugly too.
If youre talking behind my back, youre in a good position to kiss my ass!
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.
Whenever i think of quit smoking, I need a cigarette to think.
Take out N out of FRIEND, and you are cooked!
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesnt work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But its still on the list.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you dont need it.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
I didnt fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one asshole at a time.
Battery about to die, I am about to live !
Went to a fish market and shouted at them saying What is this, a classroom?, thereby maintaining the balance of the universe.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
I want to get close with you like, shoes with laces,
teeth with braces or ASentenceWithoutSpaces.
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it?
I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.
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